As much as I’ve tried to ignore it, the election is coming up. I can’t help it, I just find the whole thing distasteful. I mean really? They are politicians. Each and every one of them, a talking puppet for a group of rabid people with an agenda all of their own. I question their morals, I question their credentials and I question their sincerity, Democrat or Republican.

I was interested in Ron Paul, even if some of his ideas were a little far fetched. But, well, that ain’t gonna happen. Hillary Clinton I found intriguing, and I have no problem admitting that it is because she is a woman. I know it’s sexist, but I happen to believe a woman would do a better job than a man any day. Hands down. (Do you hear me Condoleezza? Go for it girl!!) And yes, McCain’s got Sarah Palin. SHUDDER. Seriously? That is just scary. I just watched two interviews where she managed to not understand the question or dance around actually saying anything and smile a lot. Hrm. And the whole overturning Roe vs. Wade thing is unacceptable to me. I do, however,  admire her apparent skill with a moose.

So, in an effort to see which of the candidates I am more in line with on the key issues that concern me, I’ve decided to do a little compare/contrast. Please keep in mind, this is FOR MY BENEFIT ONLY. I am not now, nor will I ever, claim to have the right decision for everyone. If anything, I am publishing this only so that I can vote this year at least feeling like I made an informed decision. And you should too… our country is in some dire straits people, its time to exercise the little influence you have left! And remember… opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got one.

Because I am lazy and find both candidates pompous and unappealing, I chose to research only the candidates websites and CNN.com, which I thought offered a pretty unbiased synopsis of the candidates stance on key issues.  I did not watch speeches. I avoided both party conventions. I only watch my local news, where I can find out if there will be traffic in the morning and how hot it might get this weekend. I am by no means a seasoned political correspondent, but I can read and form my own thoughts so that is what I did. Ready? Here goes.

Abortion

Obama opposes overturning Roe vs. Wade. McCain believes it is a flawed decision that must be overturned.

Verdict: I’m going with  Obama on this one.

Homeland Security

McCain has stated that “The State Department and other agencies need to enhance their ability to send more experts to war torn lands- or better still, bolster peaceful development to reduce the chances of war breaking out in the first place” and favors increasing the number of civil affairs, military police and information operations.  However, he also has said he will spend more on the defense budget.  Obama voted for the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act in July 2008, which prevents telephone companies from lawsuits for participating in a government eavesdropping program.

Verdict: Big brother anyone? I’m with McCain here.

Mortgage Crisis

Obama wants to create a $10 billion fund to help prevent foreclosures and eliminate some taxes and fees for homeowners. McCain believes qualifying homeowners should have the chance to have their loan modified, but believes a government bailout should only be “a last resort.” While I certainly sympathize with people struggling to keep their homes, personal responsibility must come in at some point.

Verdict: McCain here too.

Immigration

Both candidates appear to have the same stance and voting record on this issue.

Verdict: Draw. Bad candidates, bad. No treat for you.

Economic Stimulus

Obama appears to believe that throwing money at a crumbling economy will magically solve everything. Aren’t we in massive debt as it is? Is a $250 tax cut really going to help that much? Is there anyone out there who received their stimulus check and said “Hooray! All my problems are over!” Yeah, I didn’t think so. McCain would lower the corporate tax rate and establish a permanent research and development tax credit.

Verdict: Hrm. Neither of these sound like they are going to help much. Crap.

Education

McCain believes in charter and home schools, increased technology and virtual classrooms. Huzzah! However, he also supports the NCLB act. Obama seems to think free preschool and college education is the answer and appears to be in favor of even more federal involvement in education.

Verdict: I’m down with McCain on this one.

Energy

McCain supports offshore drilling. Both candidates advocate alternative energy technology, however Obama proposes the investment of $150 billion over 10 years in clean energy research and does not support offshore drilling.

Verdict: Interesting… I’m going with Obama here.

Environment

While McCain did introduce the Climate Stewardship and Innovation Act with Sen. Joseph Lieberman in 2007, Obama appears to have a much more aggressive and solid plan regarding environmental issues such as an economy wide cap and trade program to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, the establishment of a National Low Carbon Fuel Standard to speed introduction of low carbon/non-petroleum fuels and the creation of a Technology Transfer program within the Dept of Energy that will work to bring environmentally friendly technologies to developing countries and encourage restorative and sustainable farming and forestry practices.

Verdict: Hooray for Obama on this one!

Free Trade

The only statement John McCain makes in regard to free trade is calling himself “the biggest free marketer and free trader that you will ever see.” Hmm. Examples? Huh? Ok. Obama intends to amend NAFTA and eliminate tax breaks for companies that move overseas. Excellent.

Verdict: Obama, since McCain just feels it is enough to simply state that free trade is good. Duh.

Guns

McCain has consistently voted in keeping with the second amendment. Obama does not. Nuff said.

Verdict: McCain. Having a gun does not make you a bad person. Neither dose using a gun in defense of yourself or your loved ones. Using a gun to shoot all of your former coworkers does.  It’s all in the intention people.

Healthcare

I really like Obama’s healthcare plan. It seems workable, reasonable and would certainly benefit people like me, who do not have healthcare but cannot qualify for state programs. I think his idea of having employers contribute a percentage of payroll toward the cost of a national plan (while small businesses would be exempt and could earn a tax credit for contributions) is fair. McCain is in favor of keeping privatized healthcare in the interest of improving the quality of health care and the use of health savings accounts.  The problem with this? We already have a privatized healthcare system with a noticeably diminished level of quality of care. And its only getting worse. Hospitals know people cannot afford treatment and are turning people away. How much longer do you keep beating a dead horse before you acknowledge that no matter what you do, Old Bessie just ain’t getting up?

Verdict: I like Obama on this one.

Lesbian, Gay and Transgender Issues

McCain believes all that rigmarole about marriage being a union between one man and one woman. So does Obama, but he also opposes a constitutional ban on gay marriage. Here is my two cents, for what it is worth: Unless you are religious, and getting married in a church (which is not what we are talking about here… we have a separation of church and state you see…) a marriage is a legal contract between two adult (over 18 in most states) consenting individuals. End of story. Nowhere in there does a penis and vagina become a requirement. So there. Obama would also repeal the fabulously effective (dripping with sarcasm) “don’t ask don’t tell” policy. (Guess what guys? There are gays in the military. I’ve seen em. They do just as good of a job as the next person and should be allowed to lead their personal lives as they see fit, without fear of ruining their career. It is just archaic and silly.)

Verdict: Obama too.

Social Security

This is an iffy one. I think most people my age have accepted that social security is just not going to be there for us. For me, I am comfortable with McCain’s plan to privatize SS and slow growth benefits rather than raise taxes. Obama wants to use the payroll tax system to keep SS going for the next fifty years… which really, doesn’t seem like much of a solution.

Verdict: McCain.

Stem Cell Research

Both have basically the same position and voting record.

Verdict: Draw. Darnnit. And this is a biggie for me.

Foreign Policies

Obama talks about diplomatic strategies. McCain talks a lot about military actions. Personally, I think we’ve had enough of that the past eight years and we better start taking care of things here at home.

Verdict: Obama.

Taxes

Obama propses eliminating marriage penalty and extending child tax credits as well as eliminating income taxes for seniors making less than $50 thousand per year and eliminating all capital gains taxes on start ups and small businesses. I really like all these ideas, but how are we going to eliminate the huge national deficit and pay for a national healthcare plan with less taxes coming in? McCain has previously stated he would sign the “Fair Tax” into law as president which would eliminate income tax and abolish the IRS. Hmmm. He would also double the child tax credit and lower corporate tax rate from 35% to 25%.

Verdict: I’m not really sure either of these are feasible.

So, there you have it. I’m still confused, and not entirely sure, but I feel a little more informed. And I have until November, right?